Comparison jokes
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
Your hairline is so bald, Mr. Clean even said it's bald!
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.