Comparison jokes
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.