Comparison jokes

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

I like my coffee like my women.

Amateur.

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.

Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

What number is better than 69?

88 'cause you get ate twice.

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.