Comparison jokes
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.