Common jokes
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
What do Batman and a Black man have in common?
Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."