Common jokes
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.