Comedy jokes

Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

Because there's too many ears.

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."