Comedy jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Not funny joke.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
What is the highest number?
420.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.