Comedy jokes
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.
These are meannnnn.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
...
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.