Comedy jokes
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
oh my god guys
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Laugh.