Comedy jokes
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Like this.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
You're really...
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.