Comedy jokes
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
"(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic:
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP: TEENY DICK
BUMP: TINY TIT
GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP: AN ASS
DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP: SEE "HUMP" . . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL!!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse!! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS!! ..... sniff, sniff........ Ewww!" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk!". . . I better go, 'cause I just went!! ..... Ha! ha! ha!" . . . "Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen! Good Night!!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY!!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen."
It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
oh my god guys
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
You don't have a forehead, you have a fivehead.
You don't have dreams, you have movies.
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!