Comedy jokes
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"