Comedy jokes
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.