Comedy jokes
What makes a skeleton laugh?
When you tickle his funny bone with a skele-TON of jokes!
Heh.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
I came here to laugh.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.