Comedy jokes
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.
What protects clowns from the sun?
A bozone layer.
"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.