Comedy jokes

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."

Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

What's an Indian's favorite store?

Red Dot.