Comedy jokes

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

Because there's too many ears.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Q. You know what really bugs me?

A. Insect puns.

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?

You shove them on!

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."