Comedy jokes
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
How Jupiter was discovered.
Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.