Comedy jokes
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Why does this category seem to have the most retold and recycled jokes on this website?
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"