Comedy jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."