This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."
