Comedy jokes
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
789.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.