Comedy jokes
789.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.