Comedy jokes
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
What's an Indian's favorite store?
Red Dot.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
789.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.