Comedy jokes
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
789.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.