Comedy jokes
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Yo hairline caused corruption.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)