Comedy jokes

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.

The world is a freaking rape joke.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

Because there's too many ears.

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Me and my friend were duck hunting.

He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.

Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?

'Cuz he's the Father!!!

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.