Comedy jokes
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Memes
The Movie
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...