Comedy jokes

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

What is the best joke of all time?

Feminism.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What do you call a tall terrorist?

Osama Bin Laden.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Funny.

"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Baby!"

"Baby who?"

"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

"No thanks, I already ate."