Comedy jokes
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
I'm Pickle Rick!
Culture for some reason.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
"Come on now, gay jokes aren't funny."
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
You know, I like my girls how I like my 9/11: Two twins that go down easy.