Comedy jokes
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was dgergbbfdnbj.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
your mom
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
Like if you think rape jokes are funny.