Comedy jokes

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.

Wanna hear a joke...

I don't know, I'm too high.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?

One is Super. The other is just soup.

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂

What do eggs like doing on stage?

Cracking jokes!

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

*JMC*

ANOMALY-931

"Gwen"

Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?