Comedy jokes
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
UR MUM!
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.