Comedy jokes

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

Some people think incest jokes are funny.

I just think it's all relative.

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?

Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

Steven Hawking said there is no God,

Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

"Knock knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

I like my humor like my people. Well done.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It picks cotton.