Comedy jokes

Some people think incest jokes are funny.

I just think it's all relative.

Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

Spaceballs: The Joke.

These jokes are the bomb, I rate them 9 out of 11.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.

Who needs April Fools?

When your whole life is a joke?

Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.

Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?

He can't do stand-ups.

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Watch Key/Peele "Detective."

Dez nuts!