Comedy jokes
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
"Dees nutz, got 'em!"
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."