Comedy Jokes

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand-up comedy!

Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?

Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

Yo mama so ugly!

The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.

(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”

A: The chicken.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?

Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...

...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."

To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"

I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

your mom

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.