What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
When bob the builder looks at ur hairline he says we can't fix that
I would roast you, but your mirror does every time you look into it.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
If you don ́t like my suicidal jokes, sorry man didn ́t know it cut that deep.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now
So I was being robbed and this guy had the gun to my head to i told him he was holding it backwards.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
what is the one thing cripples can't do......stand up comedy
Q: you want to know way I don’t make jokes about 9/11 A: They tend to crash and burn
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
