What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
These gags are killing me!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
