Comedy jokes
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING YouTuber! (I can't believe he is still alive!)
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
These are meannnnn.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"