Comedy jokes
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
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Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
These jokes suck. Lmfao y'all gotta be more creative!
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"