Comedy jokes
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
The world is a freaking rape joke.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.