Comedy

Comedy jokes

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Squirrel

  • Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

    Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

    Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

    I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

    I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

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    Scratch

  • People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

    And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

    Booty

  • Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.

    Mineta: Go on.

    Denki: Uraraka's booty.

    Mineta: I don't get it.

    Denki: Exactly.

    Mineta: ^cries T_T^

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    Life

  • Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

    My friend: What’s wrong?

    Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂

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    Friend

  • Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

    My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

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  • Dinosaur

  • 1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

    A dino-snore!

    2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

    A rocket chip!

    3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

    Because she was stuffed!

    4. What has ears but cannot hear?

    A cornfield!

    5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

    Between us, something smells!

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    Movie

  • Harry Potter

    Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

    Jumanji

    Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."