Comedy jokes
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
What comes after 69?
Period.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.