What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
