Comedy jokes
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!