Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
Steven Hawkins couldn't take the stairway to Heaven he had to take the lift
Haha
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Knock Knock Whos there? Youre adopted
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
My Dick
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
