Comedy jokes

What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

A: They tend to crash and burn.

Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

I like my humor like my people. Well done.

What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

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I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

What's red and runs up your leg?

A homesick abortion.

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

These aren't funny.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

What did the banana say to the peel?

“Let’s split!”

I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄

Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.

Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.

Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.

Animal jokes, eh?

Toucan play at that game.