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Comedy

Comedy jokes

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

  • 4

    • 8008135 is my favorite number.

    The worst ratio is 6:9.

    And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

    What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?

    I don't know, I just fly the drone.

    Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

    A: They tend to crash and burn.

  • 5

    • Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?

    Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?

    What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

    Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.