Comedy jokes

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

What do classical musicians do when they die?

They decompose.

Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.

Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.