Come jokes

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

What hood do zombies come from?

Dead Ends.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

Why did the mailman come to the house?

To come back with the milk.

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.