Come jokes
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”