Come jokes

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.

They have to come out of the closet sometime.

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

I stole a wheelchair. I knew the owner would come crawling back.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.