Come jokes

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"