Come jokes

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

What hood do zombies come from?

Dead Ends.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

Why did the mailman come to the house?

To come back with the milk.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.