Come

Come Jokes

Dad

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Orphan

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

Violist

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Parent

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Orphan

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

Orphan

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Hooker

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

Christmas

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Milkman

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Dad

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Ball

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

Child

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

People

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Friend

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

Pepper Spray

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.