I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Come Jokes
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
FUCK YEA
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
