Why did my boyfriend leaves me ? Because he's gay. But why did he come back to me ?
Because im actually a guy :-)
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
How to make an orphan die
Tell then to yell until their folks come home.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them but once the little people come jumping of them out it becomes sad and awful.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower
Here comes the airplane
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorist have in common? “Here comes the airplane!”
So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didn’t want them..
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
do depressed people hate swimming. They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression but they love it cus it might make all their dreams come true
what comes after 69?
mouthwash
I be ready to commit suicide. But when it comes to jumping out my window im scared ash
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end
Hey dad are you finally back with the milk dad: yea but it's expired so ima go back to the ''milk store'' and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
I rang my boss and said I’m really sick I won’t be coming into work, my boss said Davo your sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now? I replied well I’m in bed with my sister!
