Come jokes

If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:

1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?

2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?

3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?

4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?

5. Was this funny?

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.

I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?