Come jokes

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?

A period.

Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

What comes after 69?

Period.

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.