Come jokes

Why can't orphans eat chips?

Because they come in family size.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

Why was Mrs. Claus upset?

Because Santa only comes once a year.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

Come, my children, to the bread cult!

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?

A: Because the ball comes back.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹

Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.