Come jokes
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹