Come Jokes

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."

A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces and a dentist comes in and he's says Brace yourself!

♫Transgenders men in disguise♫....A xxx transformers parody coming soon to DVD

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

when its April fools day go to a orphan and say there parents should come back

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints

What animal can jump the highest

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes they literally look this shit up just to complain

I just come across a pile of cash in the parking lot.

Usually I just use tissues

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

little johnny was late to class the teacher ask him where was he little johnny said i was on top of marry hill the a kid comes late to class and also said he was on marry hill then a little girl thats about 4 or 5 comes in the teacher ask who are you she said IM MARRY HILL

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children? Artifical vanilla come from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

one time i was watching tv mom: omg your dad is coming! me:omg really mom: sike i lied

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house, he said he was confused because he didnt know what that is

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."

A mushroom walked into a pub. He asked the bartender to give him a beer. The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy." The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"