Come

Come jokes

Orphan

  • So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

    Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

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  • Mirror

  • Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

    Pp

  • Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.

  • 1
  • Girlfriend

  • I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

    Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

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  • Alphabet

  • A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

    Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

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  • Cereal

  • 10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.

    Necrophilia

  • I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

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  • Anniversary

  • I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

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  • Pizza

  • I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

    Teacher

  • Teacher: What comes after C?

    Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

    Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

    Me: AK47!!!

    Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

    Teacher: What comes after X?

    Me: Xplosin.

    1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

  • 1
  • Jackass

  • Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

    Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

    Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen: Good night!

    Prince: Why?

    Gwen: Because...now good night!

    Prince: We can work some things out?

    Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

    To be continued

    Tip

  • Tip for Kindness for the day.

    Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.

    Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen

    Skeleton

  • Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

    PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

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