Come

Come jokes

Bet

    • So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

  • 6

    • Owner

    • A fat man coming in the store.

    Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

    Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

    Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

    Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

  • 1

    • Emo

    • Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?

    Because they won't be there to stick around.

    Wish

    • So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

    The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

  • 0

    • Priest

    • What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

    A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

  • 2

    • Emo kid

    • Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

  • 2

    • Wish

    • There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

    The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

  • 0

    • History

    • "History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

    Priest

    • What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

  • 0

    • Woman

    • There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

  • 1

    • Toy

    • Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

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