Cold jokes
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
Why is a football stadium always so cold?
Answer: Because it has a lot of fans!
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Community talk
Choke me like you hate me, but you love me Lowkey wanna date me when you fuck me (uwu) Touch me with the lights off and my chains on Baby, I'm not the right one you should wait on She a freak, lil' bad ho Gaspare told me kill it I said, "Let me grab my Death Note" Huh, she pulled me in like a lasso Sayin' that she know me, I don't even know her at though Ain't no daddy issues, then I won't even bother She say I kill … Read more
(As per Cosmo's request)
Jack opened his drying eyes, awoken by a piercing ray of sunlight shining through crooked blinds. A gentle smell wafted in from the corner of what his temporarily blinded eyes knew to be a dilapidated kitchen. It was the one good thing about his life, that smell. He closed his eyes once more and awaited his call.
“Jacky, breakfast time!” beckoned that oh-so-familiar girlish voice. “Oh, sil… Read more
A FUCKIN COLD DAY HOE? MY ASS FINNA BE FRIED AS SHIT