Chill Jokes

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)

My heart says to stop because it hurts Bro chill its really not that deep

what did the skeleton say to the other wow that song spooky scary skeletons really does send chills down my spine

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen? a chill pill.

so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My friends were the pilots on 911 they told me. "bro chill its just a prank."

My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking".

JACK AND JILL 2.0

After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,

Jack was screaming till his voice went nil

And Jill screamed "Chill!"

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"

When I'm chilling and a little kid runes my moment

what do you call a chill transgender

Fictional

Sans: What is todoroki's favourite coffee creamer Half n' Half hehe

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: bro don't get so HOT headed about it Just CHILL

sorry not sorry -sans

What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?

"Yo, CHILL!”

So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I fonder why....

were gonna have to kill

no good jack and jill

they’re draining the economy doooown!

they’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill jack’s seed

they’ve ruined our wonderful town!

were gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

they have no moralityyyy

they’re spreading degeneracy

we aint what we used to be

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill!

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana

they went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers

next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill!

they’ve banked off buying boooze!

they’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice

corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

their kids’re in the business tooo!

they’re draining all our banks

give em well deserved spanks

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill

jack and jill netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaaake

what a blunder, there was no rubber, now

they’re a house of eeiiight

a bolt went off, they opened shop

to resell their porn and lean

it all went swell, but for us, well

we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL JACK AND JILL!

Someone said to me when it was winter it time for you to “chill out” I was like 👁👄👁

I picked up a document and I started to feel cold. I looked down at the document and it read DRAFT.

Why was the rapper always calm?

Because he had a lot of CHILL FLOWS

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"