Cold jokes
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
When is a cold not a cold?
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.