Cold jokes
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.