Cold jokes
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Memes
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What did the snowman ⛄️ eat after dinner?
Ice cream 🍨.
What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What do you call a rapper who's always cold?
Chill MC.
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."