Cold

Cold Jokes

Airplane

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Hell

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Politician

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Body

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

Rapper

How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?

Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."

Baby

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.