Cold jokes
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Memes
Nugget does not like the cold nuggets
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
What do you call a bee from America?
A USB.
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
What did the snowman ⛄️ eat after dinner?
Ice cream 🍨.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
When is a cold not a cold?
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!