Cold Jokes

What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war *cold war*

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

uranus is cold

amogus

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

37. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!" Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time".

38. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

39. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!" "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk".

40. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?" Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him." Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason." Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?" The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"

What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?

The “cold and passed out” kind.

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other "I'm cold. Are you cold?" The other cow says "Yeah I'm Fresian".

Ok now I'm not good at telling jokes but this 1 is not to bad 1 cunt said to anothrr cunt do you get cold at night fuck no cunt the 1 st cunt said why I have a built in set of verticlal currains to keep the cold out cunt xx

I love autumn 🍂

is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?

Dark jokes are like Antarctica

The're cold

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner? The cold shoulder

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff

when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders