Cold jokes
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
When is a cold not a cold?
Memes
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because his lyrics were too ICY!
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.