Cold jokes

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

I love autumn!

Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?

Dark jokes are like Antarctica.

They're cold.

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?

The cold shoulder.

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Cold.

Cold who?

"It is cold out here!"

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.

Why are hospitals always freezing?

They need to keep the vegetables cold.

Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?

Because he had a new window open...

A man takes a boy into the woods.

Boy says:

"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."

The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"