Cold

Cold Jokes

Pregnancy

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

Anencephaly

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Blowjob

Why do men give cold women their jackets?

No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.

Rapper

Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?

Because his bars were ice.

Difference

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

Corner

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Sex

Sex is like pizza.

When it’s hot, it’s great.

When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.

Corpse

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Rapper

How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?

Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."

Necrophiliac

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

Rapper

How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?

"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"