Cold jokes
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
you.