Cold jokes
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
I love autumn!
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx