There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Cold Jokes
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
