Cold jokes
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.