Cold jokes
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.