Cold jokes
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Uranus is cold.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!
Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.
Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!
Comments:
Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!
Shut up: Shut up!
Liv: Gwen stop!!
Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Amogus.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.