Cold jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Amogus.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.