Cock jokes
Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.
But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?
Was Randy. 👹
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
cock, cock, and cum
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
Michael is gay and sucks cock.
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.