Cock jokes

How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?

A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

D: Johnny, Johnny.

J: Yes, Papa?

D: Eating sugar?

J: No, Papa!

D: Telling lies?

J: No, Papa!

D: Open your mouth, now full of cock. :)

So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

My forehead so big,

big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.

Hi.

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

I've the biggest cock. Suck it.

I have a big cock.

Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?

Me: Maybe I can hang later...

Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?

A: A man!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."