Liquid jokes

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.

Turns out it was a Fanta sea.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.

What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?

An H2hoe.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?

Shampoo.

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"

"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.

The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."

Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"

Did you know that water is wet?

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?

"It's dye-ing."

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.

What happens to teeth when they go in water?

Bro, I dunno, they get wet?