Close Jokes

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room." "Islam it is."

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

Guys put more comments in )) https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website (( we are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website and the record is 171

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw who the hell is gwen?

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head just because his wife Said he was close minded

2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."

Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

Stephen hawkings last words were the windows closing sound

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close the casket.

this name makes me want to close season instead of open it

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semin and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story.

A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why?

Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!