Luckily his funeral was a closed casket, sorry his car blew a gasket
me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died it’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine
Wow aiden maybe you been mean to Tenya she is hurting close to killing her self but hey I can pick your ass since ya know that is what I do!
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button
What are you doing son.it has been an hour and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed
2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."
Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."
Hola soy Dora do you see the Cliff. Say backpack. Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff you will not peek. Did you just peek. Close your eyes. You silly goose. The end
He’s so short no one can see you very close by
My wife is so fat. She buys her close at Tent & Awning!
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it
ur hairline is so close to earth, 100 million lightyears away
Who’s Paul walkers close friend? Tree
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here sorry If he might have crashed...
Q : Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why are blinds called blinds
Because when they aren’t closed they a blinding
Yo mama so dumb when she looked at the light she said why is the sun so close to me
