Chinese jokes
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
Why can't Chinese do anything? The government won't let them.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.