Chinese jokes
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
Memes
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪
Toilet: hi You: hi what?
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Why is the fanny flat? Because so it can flop about.
Two Chinese men walk into a bar.
"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Grace...what stinks?
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."