Chinese jokes
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.
Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.
Joke not up for debate.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat... Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!" Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Why don’t orphans and Chinese kids play baseball. The orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"