Chinese jokes
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!
5 stars!
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What do you call a shocked Chinese man?
"Hu le fuk!"
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
"Ohh wing wing."
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
asdf.
One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.
But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.