Chinese jokes
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Why do Chinese people never play baseball?
Because they always eat the bat.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?
Some smile, others beam.
This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.
Joke not up for debate.
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.