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Chinese jokes

Survey

A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

It was a failure because:

South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

Africans don’t know the word “food.”

Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

Name

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

Yo mama

Yo mama so stupid.

When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."

God

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Memes

Chinese memes

Food

When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,

just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!

  • 0

    • Gang

    What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?

    The "Ching Chang Gang."

    Girl

    This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

  • 2

    • Takeout

    Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!

    Rickroll

    This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

    Name

    Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."

    Gun

    Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"