Chinese jokes
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. (Wing, wing, halo.)
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.