Implant jokes

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.